Friday, June 14, 2013

Lick and spit, lick and spit

To the moonji that continues to sway whatever it is in me.

I am not quite sure where its roots lie, but I think I can say with quite some conviction that the subtle art of licking found its strong base in India. After a certain amount of patient research, I think I can safely conclude that it is commonly assumed by researchers that licking might’ve originated from the need to savour tasty food, especially the stuff that melt – quite decent intentions, yes. However, through the ages, the art has seen several stages of transformations. The most prevalent form in the country seems to be the optimum usage of the primary factor involved in licking – the spit. For example:

1)     Do you want to stop a wound from bleeding?
Lick the blood or put some spit over it.

2)     Do you want to do something quick about the burn on your hand?
Lick or put some spit over it.

3)     Apprehensive over what to do with bf’s/gf’s lips after your first & awkward (French) kiss?
Lick or twirl tongues (awkwardly) to exchange spit.

4)     Ran out of glue at the post office?
Stamps, envelopes - lick ‘em all away to glory!

5)     Wondering if the food isn’t rotten yet?
Lick it, anyway.

6)     Got something that tastes fishy while you’re walking on the road?
Spit it out, anyway.

7)     Just filled air in one of your vehicle tyres and concerned if it’ll be down by the time you cross the street?
Put some spit on the nozzle.

8)     On dieting plans but tempted to have that insanely sweetened ice gola?
Licking it once (or twice, or maybe thrice) is just fine.

9)     Pages on a book too sticky to turn?
Lick the fingers and work it out again.

10)Can’t get your thing into her thing?
Lots of spit and there you go.

P.s: Title of the post sound more fun when you read it in a tone similar to 'No chip chip, No chik chik'. No? Otay.

1 comment:

Stanley said...

Just came across ur blog. Its a delight.Pls write more.