Would you understand why that missing comma, that missing period will always annoy me?
Would you understand heels have always been my nightmare and how they will still continue to overrule my convictions and make me want to get the hang of them?
Would you understand that I am always going to need help with tearing open that packet irrespective of what it contains – chocolates, ice-creams, ketchup, pens, gunpowder?
Would you understand that the most vulnerable moment of mine is probably when I am holding onto that book as if for dear life, stripped naked of all veils?
Would you understand that I will always be a sucker for words, the written, the spoken, the command they have over my very self, making me forget for a moment the side I am on, making me pause involuntarily if only to admire the beauty they cloak their subject in?
Would you understand if I told you that I feel more secure when I leave my words within single quotes; that double quotes have left me squirming of late?
Would you understand that beneath all that show of being strong and probably over-confident lies a very brittle self-confidence that has survived too many a storm of doubts of its very existence?
Would you understand that past all the fancy words and imageries is just a yearning to be held, petted, looked in the eye defiantly and convey all there is to be said in pristine silence?
Would you understand that it is not love that I seek, not even companionship, for they all bore me at some point or the other, but the presence of your being that keeps fooling me into believing that life will somehow seem complete in the truest sense?
Would you understand the lonely streaks that I am bound to get into, the free falls, the maddening jumps, the solo trips, the skinny dips and that ache to wander furthermore?
Would you understand that I have tried and still this won’t stop, won’t just let me be?
Would you pause, even if just for a moment, to just acknowledge that none of this is easy and it is a full-fledged battle, against the senses, against time, against the conscious, against my entire self every single time?
Would you, please?